Where's Poppy?
by TheWalkingPorn
Summary: It's GLAY and the SG-1 cast!! Whee!!! Spoilers for Season 4. BTW: Martouf is in this, so act like "Divide and Conquer" never happened.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Where's Poppy?  
Author: Dee-chan!   
Archive/Mirror: Yes please!! And can I get a cookie?   
Band(s): Glay (of course ^^;) featuring the cast of Stargate SG-1.  
Rating: PG  
  
Jiro: Are we there yet?  
Takuro: In a minute…  
Hisashi: *on iBook* type type type…  
Jiro: Whatcha doin Hisa??  
Hisashi: … type type type…  
Teru: It's useless dude.  
Jiro: *grumbles*  
Fifteen minutes later:  
Hisashi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!  
Takuro: *almost hits a stop sign*  
Teru: *clings tenaciously to dashboard*  
Jiro: BAKA!  
Takuro: *still catching his breath* What happened?  
Hisashi: *sobbing* My battery died!  
All: -.-;;;  
Takuro: Look, we're almost there.  
Hisashi: * strokes his iBook lovingly* `S gonna be ok…  
Takuro: See! Cheyenne Mountain Complex.  
Teru: Why are we here again?  
Takuro: Visiting one of my online buddies, Murray!! ^.^  
Teru: Oh yeah…   
Jiro: *flies out of the car and up to the first guard he sees* Excuse   
me! We're here to see Murray.  
Guard 1: Murray who?  
Jiro: Ummmm…  
Takuro: He's friends with Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill, and Daniel   
Jackson.  
Guard 1: *motions to Guard 2* Get Colonel O'Neill up here.  
Guard 2: *salutes and marches off*  
Jiro: *looks over at Teru and Takuro as they attempt to pull Hisashi   
out of the back seat*   
Hisashi: …  
  
Meanwhile in the SGC:  
  
*ring ring*  
Jack: *drops newspaper* Hello?  
Guard 2: Colonel O'Neill?  
Jack: Yes?  
Guard 2: Do you know of any `Murray' on the premises?  
Jack: Murray…Murray…yes, I do. That's Teal'c. Is that all?  
Guard 2: Sir, some of Murray's friends are here.  
Jack: Oh crap! That was today! I'll be right up there. *heads toward   
elevator*  
Teal'c: Colonel O'Neill, I have heard my friend Takuro is here to see   
me.  
Jack: Yeah, I was just on my way up to see them. Wait a sec.. *runs   
back to office and grabs a hat* Here.  
Teal'c: *puts hat on and follows Jack*  
Sam: Going somewhere?  
Teal'c: My friend has come to visit me.  
Sam: Ooh that's nice! What's his name?  
Teal'c: He is called Takuro.  
Sam: I'd like to meet him…mind if I tag along?  
Jack: Not at all..after you, Major.  
At the front entrance:  
Teru: *props Hisa up against the car*  
Hisashi: T_T iBook…*sniff*  
Jiro: *rolls eyes* Dumbass…  
*Sam, Jack and Teal'c emerge*  
Jack: Sooo…yer here to see Murray, huh?  
All: *nod*  
Teal'c: *steps forward* I am Murray.  
  
TIME PASSES  
0350 hours:  
  
Jiro: *opens door quietly and walks to Hisashi's quarters*  
Hisashi: *snoring happily clutching his iBook* num num…iBook-chan…  
Jiro: *carefully pries iBook-chan out of Hisa's grasp and creeps out   
the door*  
Hisashi: *wakes up* O.O JIRO!!!  
Jiro: *runs like hell down the hall*  
Hisashi: *chases after him* COME BACK HERE!  
Jiro: *climbs some stairs and opens the nearest door*  
Hisashi: *not too far behind* When I catch you, I'm gonna kick you   
ass so hard it's gonna turn inside out and come out your mouth!  
Jiro: *staring at the Stargate through the window* Ooh… *pushes   
random buttons*  
Stargate: *activates*  
*sirens go off*  
Intercom: UNAUTHORISED GATE ACTIVATION  
Jiro: Oh shit.  
Hisashi: Baka… -.-;;  
Jiro: *evil grin* Waitaminnit… *pushes Hisa out of his way and runs   
to Gate Room*  
Hisashi: *chases him again*  
Jiro: *stands in front of the gate* Ooh…it looks like water! *touches   
event horizon* Sugoi…  
Hisashi: *out of breath* Huff…huff…Jiro…gasp…give me iBook-chan…  
Jiro: *dangles iBook in front of the Gate* You want it that bad, you   
come and get it!  
Intercom (Jack's voice): WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING??  
Jiro: *throws iBook into event horizon* Oops…I'm such a butterfingers!  
Stargate: *deactivates*  
Jiro: *looks on the other side of the Gate* Where'd it go??  
Hisashi: WHAT DID YOU DO??  
Jiro: Um…your iBook is gone…  
Hisashi: *lunges at Jiro*  
Teal'c and Takuro: *rush in and restrain him*  
  
Up in the control room:  
  
Daniel: Ummm…what just happened?  
Jack: Oh for crying out loud…  
Sam: I think Jiro was just playing a practical joke, sir.  
Teru: Tono is his favourite victim…  
Jack: You mean he pulls this kind of thing all the time?  
Teru: Um..yeah. Where did iBook-chan go anyway?  
Sam: *looks at computer* Oh!  
Jack: Huh?  
Sam: Vorash!  
Jack: Oh. Great.  
Intercom: OFFWORLD ACTIVATION!  
Teru: What??  
Jack: Close the iris!  
Teal'c and Takuro: *pull Hisa and Jiro to the control room*  
Sam: Receiving Tok'ra IDC sir. ^.^  
Jack: *hesitates*  
Sam: Sir??  
Jack: OK, open the iris.  
Martouf and Jacob Carter: *step out from the event horizon*  
Teru: *blink* O_O  
Hisashi: Dude…   
Jiro: They just walked through that thing…from where??  
Hisashi: *looks at Teal'c* What's that on your forehead Murray?  
Teal'c: My name is not Murray, Hisashi.  
Takuro: Wh…what?   
Teal'c: I am called Teal'c.  
Takuro: *eyes glaze over*  
Hisashi: *unfazed* That's a wierd name... where are you from?  
Teal'c: I am from Chulak.  
Hisashi: Hm. Sounds German.  
Sam: *runs to Gate Room*  
Jack: Dammit it's Marty. *mumbles something about slimy snakeheads*  
Takuro: *snaps back to reality* Huh?  
Jack: Nothing.  
Teru: Who's the old guy Sam's hugging?  
Daniel: That's her father.  
Hisashi: Whoa! Her dad's an alien? Cool!!  
Jiro: See, you're not alone anymore.  
Hisashi: Shut up.  
  
Gate Room:  
  
Sam: Dad, it's great to see you!  
Jacob: Great to see you too. *hugs Sam*  
Martouf: *holding iBook-chan* This came through the `Gate a few   
moments ago.  
Sam: Oh good! Poor Hisa.  
Martouf: Who?  
Sam: *points to control room* See the guy with the blue spiky hair?  
Martouf: Yes.  
Sam: That's Hisashi. The blonde guy next to him accidentally threw   
Hisa's iBook through the `Gate.  
Jacob: Ah, practical jokes.  
Sam: Yeah.  
Control Room:   
Hisashi: iBook-chan!!!!!!!!!!! *runs to Gate Room*  
Daniel: O.o;  
Jack: *sarcastic voice* Nothing wrong with that one…  
Jiro: Can we have him committed?  
Takuro: No. We need him.  
Jiro: *pouts* You're no fun.  
  
Gate Room:  
  
Hisashi: *takes iBook from Martouf and hugs it tightly* Yay!! ^.^   
*skips back to the control room*  
Jacob: Well, that's one weird, um, guy.  
Sam: *leads their Tok'ra visitors to the control room*  
Jack: Jacob, always a pleasure. *shakes Jacob's hand* Soooo,   
Marty...staying long?  
Martouf: We do have some important matters to discuss involving a   
certain System Lord.  
Jack: Oh great. What's that slimy, overdressed, scum sucking,   
snakehead up to now?  
Jiro: He's right over there *snickers and points at Hisashi*  
Takuro: *smacks Jiro upside the head* BAP!  
Jiro: x.O WHAT WAS THAT FOR???  
Takuro: You're treading a fine line...  
Jiro: But Jack said "overdressed"! Hisa's _always_ overdressed.  
Hisashi: *flips Jiro the bird*  
Jacob: Anyway, why don't we go to the briefing room?  
*all leave control room and walk down to the briefing room*  
  
Briefing Room:  
  
Jiro: *sits at the head of the table*  
Hisashi: *sits at the opposite end of the table and opens his iBook*  
Martouf: Why are they here?  
Jack: They gained special clearance after Jiro threw Hisashi's   
computer through the 'Gate.  
Jiro: *extremely kawaii smile*  
Jacob: Where's George?  
Sam: *looks ar Jack* Did you call General Hammond?  
Jack: Oops.  
Daniel: I'll do it.  
  
TIME PASSES  
  
Gen. Hammond: What's going on people?  
Jack: Aside from Teal'c's friends running amok, um, there's a   
situation with Apophis.  
Gen. Hammond: Great. *sits*  
Jack: Go ahead Marty.  
Martouf: All right. *Lantesh takes over* According to our operatives   
aboard Apophis' mothership, it appears Apophis has vanished.  
Jack: Is that good or bad? I'm thinking it's good...  
Jiro: Who's Apophis?  
Sam: He's the overdressed snakehead Jack was talking about.  
Jiro: You mean there's someone besides Hisa who's overdressed? I'll   
be damned!  
Sam: *snicker*  
Hisashi: *death glare*  
Jiro: Ohh yeah! Hisa's a snakehead too!  
Martouf/Lantesh and Jacob: *stare at Jiro* What?  
Jiro: Yeah! One time he had a live snake in his mouth!! Damn that was   
gross.  
Everyone: -.-;;  
Daniel: So, um, when did they realise he went missing?   
Jacob: It was right after we returned to Vorash...when Heru-ur was   
blown out of the sky...  
Jack: Oh great...  
Daniel: So for all we know, Apophis could be roaming around on Vorash?  
Teal'c: Or possibly on _this_ planet.  
Jack: Don't scare me.  
Teal'c: *slight smirk*  
Hisashi: *typing on iBook*  
Jiro: Poppy...hmmm...what's this guy look like?  
Sam: *turns on a monitor* The Tok'ra sent us these. *pulls up a   
document* This is him.  
Jiro: You're right! He is overdressed!! And look, he wears more   
makeup than Hisa!! XD *falls over laughing*  
Sam: So, I guess we have to find him...  
Hisashi: *looks up from typing* Hey, we're good at finding stuff.  
Teru: Well, you are...  
Hisashi: So are you. Remember when Jiro hid all your shoes?  
Teru: Um, Tono...platforms aren't that hard to find.  
Takuro: *gets up to see the picture* What's that stuff on his face?  
Martouf/Lantesh: Apophis had been captured by another Goa'uld. He was   
tortured and disfigured.  
Hisashi: *leaps up to see* Ooh!!  
Teru: *also decides to look* Oooh...shiny metal implants...  
Jiro: Soooo...  
Jack: So what?  
Jiro: Sooo...can we go with you?? Huh huh?? Can we?   
Daniel: Ummmm....o.o  
Jiro: We could help ya find Poppy. ^.^   
Jack: Poppy?  
Jiro: It's easier than saying Esophagus or whatever you guys said.  
Hisashi: It's Apophis you half-wit.  
Takuro: We offer our services…or something.  
Gen. Hammond: I'll have to call the President. *gets up*  
Jiro: Is that a good thing?  
Sam: The President usually says yes…  
Jiro: YATTA!!! *bounces in his chair*  
Hisashi: *types some more*  
Teru: *stares at Hisa from across the table* Pretty pretty Tono…  
Hisashi: *blushes* *continues typing*  
Takuro: *paces*  
Gen. Hammond: *returns* OK, you have a go. Mission briefing at 0700   
hours. Get some sleep people.  
Everyone: *goes back to their quarters*  



	2. The Madness Continues...O.o

0530 hours:  
Mess Hall  
  
Takuro: *sipping coffee*  
Hisashi: *staring at iBook screen* Wow!  
Takuro: Huh?  
Hisashi: Sam let me browse the database here. The Goa'uld have some   
fascinating weapons! Look at this…*turns iBook so Takuro can see*  
Takuro: *looks* What is it?  
Hisashi: It's a…um…zat…nikatel??  
Teal'c: *walks in* That is correct Hisashi.  
Hisashi: It's a gun, right?  
Takuro: It looks like a snake.  
Teal'c: *nods* *gets some coffee*  
Sam: *walks in* Hey guys…  
Takuro and Hisashi: Hey.  
Sam: Hisa, have you been on that thing all night?  
Hisashi: Yeah. This is absolutely fascinating!  
Sam: Any questions or anything?  
Hisashi: Just one. Can I have one of those zatnikatels? They're so   
cool!!  
Sam: Um, I'll have to check on that one…  
Jack: Good morning kids!  
All: *wave*  
Takuro: *looking at Hisa's iBook still* That Hathor chick is hot.  
Jack: O.O SHE PUT A SNAKE IN MY HEAD!  
Takuro: I'd still like to give her a…  
Hisashi: HENTAI! You really have to stop hanging around Sugi so much.   
He's rubbing off on you.  
Takuro: Teru's worse…then again, Sugi didn't rub off on him. He kinda   
rubbed up against him…O.o  
Hisashi: Me too.  
Teru: Hi!!!! *waves*  
Hisashi: Oh god…  
Daniel: *runs in* *grabs coffee mug*  
Sam: Here we go…  
Daniel: *chugs a cup of coffee* *fills it again* *chugs that cup*  
Teru: So, what's for breakfast?  
Jack: *points to a table*  
Teru: Ooh…I like Froot Loops!  
Jack: Ick.  
Takuro: *mumbles* That's because you are a Froot Loop…  
Jacob: Good morning everyone. *goes to the coffee* excuse me Danny, I   
need some coffee…  
Daniel: *hugs coffee maker* Mine.  
Jacob: OK, I'll have some tea then. Selmac would probably go crazy if   
I had some coffee anyway.  
Daniel: *has more coffee*  
Takuro: The rate he's going, Hisa's going to kill him later too…  
Hisashi: O.O Damn that's a lot of coffee…  
Takuro: Glad I got to it first.  
Teal'c: As am I. *sips his coffee*  
Teru; *sits with his Froot Loops, toast, milk, cream cheese Danish,   
and pancakes* Oh yeah!  
Takuro: Oh god.  
Teru: *mouth full of pancakes* Whatcha lookin' at Tono?? *spits   
little pieces of pancake on iBook-chan's screen*  
Hisashi: OI! Don't get food on the screen!  
Teru: Sorry.  
Hisashi: *wipes the screen with a napkin*  
Jack: So, you guys ready to go on a mission?  
Hisashi: Yeah!   
Sam: He's been prepping all night.  
Hisashi: Y'know I was thinking. What happens if we find Apophis? Do   
we capture him? What if he has a few Jaffa around him?  
Takuro: We need bait. And disguises…  
Jacob: We have serpent guard armour at our base.  
Takuro: That'd work, and we would need bait. What is the one thing   
Apophis wants?  
Teal'c: The universe to worship him as their god.  
Takuro: Well, besides that.  
Sam: A new queen?  
Takuro: Sounds good.  
Hisashi: Ooh…Jiro!  
Teru: *milk dribbling down his chin* What about him?  
Hisashi: We could use the little pest as bait…  
Takuro: I could just see Jiro, dressed in drag doing the hula…XD  
Jack: It could work.  
Teru: *giggles* *has some Froot Loops*  
Teru's cell phone: *rings*  
Teru: *answers it* Hello? MONKICHI!! Hey everyone, it's Monkichi!!  
Hisashi and Takuro: Hi Ryu…  
Teru: Everyone says hi…so what's up? Uh huh…you don't say…  
Hisashi: Why does he have to call?  
Takuro: *shrugs*  
Teru: Oh yes!!!! That's fantastic!!  
Sam: Why do you call him Monkichi?  
Takuro: *looks at Hisa* Show her.   
Hisashi: *dinks with iBook* Here he is.  
Sam: He does look like a monkey…ooh…who's he? *points*  
Hisashi: That's Sugizo.  
Sam: Damn… @.@  
Jack: *glare*  
  
TIME PASSES  
  
Teru: G'bye Monkichi…say hi to Sugi from all of us! *hangs up his   
phone*   
Jiro: *walks in* Damn you guys are up early…  
Takuro: Good morning to you too…  
Martouf: *also walks in* Good morning.  
Jack: *monotone* Hey Marty.  
Sam: Hi Martouf.  
Jack: What time is the briefing?  
Sam: *sighs* 0700.  
Hisashi: *looks at watch* Um, that's in five minutes…  
Jack: You're kidding.  
Takuro: *also looks at his watch* Four minutes now.  
Sam: Well, let's go…  



End file.
